Dear Human,

  I wanted to take a moment to tell you that I am thinking of you as you go through this COVID-19 Pandemic. This is truly an unusual time in our history. We are all walking in uncharted territory, and for most of us, we are having to navigate this territory not only in one role, but in many. For myself, I am walking through this for the first time as a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, teacher, therapist, and business owner. I must wear different hats for each of those roles, and man, let me tell you, that’s a lot of hats! I wrestle with many different questions throughout the night and on into the day. How do I talk to my children and grandchildren with truth, and yet not scare them? How can I still be a good daughter without going to see my mom and take care of her when she is sick? How can I go out and buy things we need when the shelves are empty and I should stay at home to keep others safe? How can I encourage my clients when I, too, am scared at times? How do I keep paying our employees when our work has been cut in half? 

  I like to control my surroundings. I like to determine what my week will be like based on past experiences. And even though I know, ultimately, I am not in control, routine and hard work have always given me a sense of security. I guess one might say a false sense of security. At a time like this, when my routine is thrown out the window, and it’s impossible to work hard when there is so little work to be done, it makes me slow down and remember that TRUE comfort comes in knowing that I don’t have to have all the answers. All I need is enough strength, grace and wisdom to get through today. On the hardest days, it’s hour by hour. 

  Anxiety rushes through my veins like Niagara Falls the moment I begin to think about tomorrow, next week, and next month. I am learning, through constant practice, to bring my thoughts back to the moment I’m in. I don’t know if you are a praying person, or who you pray to, but for me, I pray to Jesus. When I do this, it switches my focus to being thankful for the things I still have. I focus on those that have far less than I. I ask that the few resources I do have be multiplied not only to help my personal needs, but to help others even more. Am I perfect at doing this every time? Nope. But I have resolved to never give up. I will not let my circumstances control my thoughts…at least not for long. 

           

  If you are having anxiety about what is going on through this pandemic, remember that you are not alone. If you do not have anyone to listen, or anyone that you feel would understand, I am here. Breakthroughs was created because I believe NO ONE should have to suffer through loneliness, anxiety, and depression alone. It was created because everyone needs help sometimes. It was created for you. 

            

If you, or someone you know needs help, please contact us. We will help you whether or not you have the resources. Stay strong my friends. Be kind. Get help. Help others.

With all heart, 

Marty

Marty Edwards, LMFT, B. S. Ed.

www.breakthroughsnf.com

Uncertainty

The uncertainty of the current trajectory of our lives due to COVID-19 is stressful for us as adults. However, children are prone to experience this based on what is happening in their homes. Are schedules being kept? Are parents talking about the virus in front of the child? Is there an age-appropriate, open dialogue between parent and child?

To be honest, at times, I feel like screaming into a pillow sometimes because I have no idea what will happen next. Will someone I love get seriously ill? Will my husband lose his job? Will my children be living in the garage any day now because they are driving me nuts? These are normal reactions and feelings. Am I dealing with them appropriately? On most days, yes. On some days, no. On the “no” days, I allow myself time to privately grieve (most likely with a glass of Pinot Grigio). I grieve because I cannot see my clients face to face or laugh with my coworkers. I grieve because I am fearful that my husband will come in contact with the virus at work. I grieve because my 8th grader cannot enjoy the perks of being able to slide at the end of an academic accomplishment. BUT...I snap out of it very quickly because I remember that I am a parent and my job is to make sure that my children are physically and emotionally safe.

So, going back to the first paragraph...Schedules are so important because structure gives children a sense of security. They know what will happen next. This is extremely important during these times because there is so much we don’t know. I enjoy not being woken by an alarm clock as much as the next person, but we need to set the standard for our homes. School hours should be respected. That being said, children should have their same bedtimes. Your children should not be watching Netflix with you at 11 pm. I understand that student course load, parent work schedules and current life events make things challenging. But do you best...that’s all anyone can do.

COVID-19 discussion is happening everywhere. Of course, it is. It feels as though it is dominating our lives. It’s hard not to talk about it when people’s health is involved. I talk to my mom in Pennsylvania or my friends on my daily walks (which have gone from 3.5 miles to 4 to allow for more adult-virus chats). I try not to talk about it when I am with my family because it takes away from our time together and frankly, it stresses everyone out. Everyone knows that it’s happening so no need to reiterate that fact.

Lastly, if your child asks questions about the virus, answer them simply but honestly. For example, if Florida has a Shelter in Place Order, then tell your child that the health officials feel that this is the best way to keep us all safe. If someone you love is ill, be honest with your child but ensure them that the loved one is getting good care. Let your children share their concerns with you.

Most importantly, children will follow your lead. If you are stressed, see paragraph 2. Try to take this crisis one day at a time. And remember, if you need help, just reach out. I am here for you.

Linda Gurt, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

www.breakthroughsnf.com

Can We Auto-correct Humanity?

In a workshop that I recently attended entitled, “Training Your Brain to Adopt Healthful Habits,” one of the topics was, Stress Associated with Chronic Inflammation and Disease. As we all know, stress can be brought on by many different factors. Some factors are obvious, and others not so obvious. Loneliness is a feeling we don’t often associate with stress. People in our society are lonelier now more than ever, which is ironic, because social media and technology were supposed to connect us. “No disrespect Mr. Zuckerberg, but Facebook should not be called a social network. It should be called an ANTI-SOCIAL network.” –Prince Ea

Please understand, I am not anti-social media or technology. It is truly vital to my business and career. I enjoy keeping up with friends and family that do not live nearby. However, moderation is key. Overuse can sneakily slip up on us as silent as a panther hunting its’ prey.

I want to share with you an amazing YouTube Video by the rapper Prince Ea. He has crafted his words so beautifully to perfectly describe what we are allowing social media and technology to do to us. And by us, I mean ALL of us…not just children, adolescents, and teenagers. Some of the lyrics in the rap entitled, CAN WE AUTO-CORRECT HUMANITY, really caught my attention. Take time to think about these lyrics, then take time to listen. It is WELL WORTH your time!

• “Did you know the average person spends 4 years of his life looking down at his cell phone?”
• “Touch screens make us lose touch.”
• “Technology has made us more selfish and separate than ever.”
• “We measure our self-worth by numbers of followers and likes.”
• “We’d rather write an angry post instead of actually talking to someone who might hug us.”
• “Can we not have conversation without abbreviation?” (My personal favorite.)
• “No longer do I want to spoil a special moment by recording it with a phone. I don’t want to take a picture of my meals anymore, I’m just going to eat them.”
• “I imagine a world where we smile at low batteries.”

I DARE YOU to listen and let it sink in.

Marty Edwards, LMFT, B. S. Ed.

www.breakthroughsnf.com